There’s a term out there: bridezilla. A bridezilla is a person who’s extremely demanding, has lost touch with her own true feelings, and the feelings of those around her.

Bridezillas can be born, but mostly they’re made. Women turn into bridezillas because they haven’t paid attention to who they really are, and what they’re feeling as they go down the path toward their bridal day. The result is that every step becomes a crisis.

If you've become a bridezilla, what's the remedy?

• First, get hold of yourself. Stop, look and listen! Somewhere along the line, you've lost your awareness about what this wedding's all about. You've gotten tangled up in a mountain of details, and you've forgotten the people around you; in fact, you've forgotten yourself.

A wedding shouldn't be terribly fraught with anger and irritation at others. If your wedding is going this way, you might consider taking a break for the day. Go out and do something that has nothing to do with your Special Day. Give yourself room to gain a new perspective.

• Next, apologize to the people around you. People are pretty forgiving, especially in the face of an apology. Simply tell them you're sorry, you lost perspective, and you'd like to begin anew.

• Then, tame your list of details and expectations. Trim things back to fit in with your time frame, budget and emotional health. Get a grip again on what's truly important to you. Let some things go. Keep what's vital close to your heart. Allow yourself to be imperfect. That's what makes you a unique and special human being. Did you know that your faults are likely to be the very things that set you apart and make you enchanting to other people? A perfect person is intimidating to others- we all know inside that we aren't perfect! When someone comes along who appears to be, we feel bad about ourselves. It's in the sharing of imperfection that true friendship and unity happen.

• Forgive yourself. This is one of the most important lessons in life. We need to allow ourselves to make mistakes. That's part of the definition of being human. When we're facing something that's really big and unfamiliar, we tend to make even more mistakes. That's just our nature.

Give yourself a break here. Maybe you did go over the top. Everyone's going to be just fine in the end. Believe it or not, your wedding and the months that preceded it are not going to be forever engraved in minute detail on the mind of everyone involved.

It may seem impossible to believe right now, but everything really doesn't have to be "just so," in order for your event to be wonderful.

One wedding a bride's father stepped on her train. There was a moment of held breaths as the sound of ripping satin reverberated through the church. Was it something one would plan for? Of course not! Was the wedding beautiful? Of course it was. Hint: remind Dad not to step on the train.

At yet another wedding, the bride's veil got caught in the rose bushes just outside the church door. Cheerily, she called, "I'll be just a second." Sure enough, everyone turned around and looked back. But the beautiful thing was, she was smiling and deliriously happy! Everyone waited while she untangled the veil and proceeded down the aisle. By this time, they were all smiling with the shared joy at her marriage.

The point here is this: perfection does not usually equal happiness. It never has, and it never will. That's something our culture has really forgotten. We think if we're thin enough, or wealthy enough or beautiful enough that we will be happy. But happiness is about accepting our imperfections and having a sense of humor about them, not about hiding ourselves from others.

So, you forgot and momentarily turned into a bridezilla. That's okay. We forgive you. Now, you need to forgive yourself.

Ezine Expert Authors:

Sandra Reid MA, CHT, financial, life, weight coaching, reiki, EFT

Mitta Vicki Wise  RN, CHT, abundance coaching, EFT, TAT, reflexology

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